INSIDE DONALD TRUMP’S MIND AS HE NAMES PENCE TO COORDINATE GOV’T RESPONSE TO CORONAVIRUS ON TV
“Shit, this fucking dumb virus thing could cost me the fucking election…unbelievable…the market was way the fuck up…all my people were rolling in money and now…what a crap sandwich…why do these fucking things always happen to me?…
…These fucking asshole countries…China…who gives a fuck if some Chinks die?…lousy pieces of…I can’t believe my shitty luck…I had it all going and then some germy yellow assholes screw me…Couldn’t this fucking thing wait ’til after the election? What bullshit..
So what if some fucking people die…who gives a fuck…Yeah, steak tonight…idiot chef better make it really well-done…And they ran outta ketchup last time…Who runs outta ketchup?…All idiots…I’m surrounded by idiots.
…I should also put Don on this…Or Jared…Maybe Ivanka…She could do some P.R…Shake her cute little ass at’em…Yeah, that’ll help cool things down…Good idea Trump…They think this’ll get me? Yeah sure…Fucking media, making a big deal outta this bullshit…They hate me, fucking lefty scum…I am a king, they are nothing! Nothing! Who gives a shit what the media thin — Well, not Fox…Thank God for Fox…They’ll tell these morons in bumfuck wherever what’s what…Keep them in line…Thank God for these suckers…A fucking virus of all things…Couldn’t touch me on the Russia thing…Which reminds me; I gotta call Vlad…See how he’s handling this dumb bullshit…
What a crock of shit…People are dying?…So fucking what?…Not that many anyway…And what do they contribute to the world? What? Nothing! That’s what…Nothing! Not like me. I’m smart…I lead…I’m a leader…A great leader…I AM a stable genius. And a fucking shit-assed virus? I still got a good shot if they run that old kike Bernie… A fucking Castro loving commie…We can fucking paint him red up and down…An’ he just had a heart attack to boot…This virus ain’t gonna get me. Let ’em all die…It’s like that nigga bitch sang that night at Studio 54…I will survive! And now I have to worry about that other old Jew bastard Bloomberg too…what a fucking mess. Why should I have to deal with this shit?
…I’ll hold a bunch of rallies and tell all these morons everything’s alright. That’ll do it…They believe everything I tell ’em…I’ll blame it on the Democrats…Nancy…Chuck…shifty Schiff…I’ll tell’em we’re way ahead of the curve when it comes to this crap…Some bullshit like that…I’ll tell ’em the do nothing Democrats caused this and that the virus was spreading very slowly in the U.S. because I was smart to close our border…Ooh, now they’ll let me build my wall…This could be good…This could be very good…
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